My name is Addi Anderson and I’m a Communications major at Brigham Young University-Idaho.
This is my new blog called Love is as Love Does. I think this title is fitting considering my theme is healthy and unhealthy relationships. I am very interested in family, friend and romantic relationships and how they affect people’s personal lives.
Growing up Mormon was always difficult for me because I grew up in a family where my mother was my only connection with the church. My father is an atheist, which made for a very interesting dynamic in my home.
I also grew up watching my friends weave in and out of relationships before I was even allowed to think about boys. This gave me the opportunity to view those relationships with a critical eye and see what was healthy and good about them and what was not.
I made a lot of mistakes throughout my life when it came to my relationships with people and it made me very interested in figuring out what works and what doesn’t (which I figured out with a lot of trial and error).
I think that the most important thing to remember when it comes to relationships is that compromise is key. In order for any relationship to be pleasant for both people, they each have to put the other person above their pride.
David Oragui, a relationship blogger, wrote a great article describing relationships in which compromise is present. He said that as long as there is an “unwavering stubbornness” between someone and their partner, the relationship is destined to fail.
I agree with him because in a majority of relationships I’ve witnessed that failed, the pair weren’t able to put their differences aside for the sake of the bond they had.
If they gave themselves the opportunity to see the other person’s point of view, they might have seen that the person behind the anger was someone they wanted in their life.
You must be prepared to offer up your pride in order for the other person to give up theirs. When this happens, there is a strong bond and a trust that is created between you.
But there is a very definite difference between sacrifice and compromise.
Marta Oko-Riebau from Colorado’s Center for Mental Health illustrates that if one person is sacrificing something deeply important to them to make sure the relationship works out, the other is not because that amount of exertion is actually unhealthy.
There needs to be a balance in the things that each participant offers toward the relationship or there won’t be peace and there will always be stress hiding behind every disagreement.
Each post involving abuse will explore different perspectives and levels of it, but abuse is always abuse.